Set It Off

I seem to be getting into a habit of posting late at night. I guess that works for me. /shrug

I've been thinking about what God wants from me, what direction he is leading me. I know that he wants me to be a part of ministry, but I don't know how to get there. I am currently going for game design, and I know I'd be damn good at it. Obviously, this sounds very proud, but I've realized something about myself: I am rather self defeating. Often times my biggest obstacle is my own self-consciousness, and I end up playing down my God given gifts. I am excellently suited to programming, as I have an extremely analytical outlook on life. I try to find logic in everything, and I am constantly questioning what I already know. I've said before that I have a head for useless facts, but I don't really think that anymore. I simply have a head for facts.

In the past few weeks, I have been finding who I am, and who I want to be. I want to be a role model, but right now I am weak. But maybe that is the biggest reason I want to lead. I am nothing, but with God, I know I can do all things. No one should follow me. Not a single person should ever model their life off of mine, but I earnestly hope and pray and chase after a single quality: That when someone sees me, they will see a broken vessel, whom God has returned to form and purposed for perfection. Who I was will never be more than nothing, but with God filling my heart, rushing through my veins with the purest ecstasy, I am more than a conquerer in Christ (I'm reading through Romans right now, if you hadn't guessed).

Life's too short, eh? Maybe I can try to life my life unto God. Everything will be better if I do, I have that knowledge in my mind. God, help me put to death my own self-consciousness and be the person I really am: A metal head, a technophile, a man with problems, and above all else, a man redeemed.

RISE! 
Let your spirit fly!
RISE!
Stand up for yourself!
RISE!
Hold your head up high!
Set It Off - P.O.D